It's never easy...

It's never easy...saying goodbye especially when you don't ever get to say "goodbye". I really wish I got to spend more time with my grandparents than I did but I hold dearly all the times I did spend with them. I have had a few days to let my Poppy's passing sink in and while I have come to terms that it has happened, it still doesn't make reality any easier. But as each day passes, we all will gain strength to realize that Poppy is all around us even though he isn't physically here anymore. I hate being so far away from our parents now especially since I'd really like to be there for my daddy. Nothing hurts me more than to hear my daddy upset. He's always been the strong one in the family but he has the right to be upset but I just wish I could be there for him and give him a hug and tell him that everything will be okay. I'd give anything to be home right now to do that. I love you so much Daddy! We hate being so far away from our parents for two obvious reasons. One is because Baker is away from his grandparents and we just cannot stand it. I don't want him to go through living away from his grandparents anymore than he has to. Two is because we are both extremely close to our parents and we'd rather be around them more than away from them but right now life is requiring us to be out here for one reason or another but we WILL make it home soon. :)

My grandparents and I had SO many great memories that I will always remember and hold close in my heart. The wonderful times we spent in St. Augustine, eating at Captain Jacks & that quaint little Italian restaurant and them hassling us because they would always have to bring us 10 bread baskets (you know us Krupp's...we love our bread!), celebrating Thanksgivings at our house in Irmo, celebrating mom and Grammy's birthdays on their way back to PA, our summer trips up to visit them in PA, their house I loved on East Spruce Street where my daddy grew up (I wish I could have bought that house--I loved it that much. There wasn't anything special about it but I think it just was because it was THEIR house that made it special. You just felt safe, comfortable, and welcome when you were there), Grammy's beautiful paintings (even the scary clown ones--she was the best painter around), eating endless dinners at the Brass Rail, Grammy's endless supply of honey buns (she knew how to spoil my brother and I), their old fashion turn style phone, their dishwasher that you had to move and actually attach to the sink to get water to run, their basement that we played endless games in, put together countless puzzles, and played nonsense music on their piano and looked at old pictures of my dad and aunt and their doggy Pierre, their massive backyard and tree we always tried to climb, the putt putt/golf lessons we had in the backyard when Poppy had hopes we all would grow up to love golf, Grammy's mimosa tree in the front yard, our walks around the neighborhood and Grammy's humor to grab those leaves off of a certain tree and show us how to stick them on our ears to make it look like we had dangling earrings, and come on we can't forget the convertible that Poppy would take us out for a ride to get ice cream in! My lists of memories can go on forever and ever...I just loved both my grandparents oh so much and miss them both dearly. My Grammy passed on my brother's birthday Aug 21, 2001 which was also my first day of college. I regrettably didn't get to attend her funeral and haven't ever forgiven myself for that. I have come to grips with it but still hate that I never got my "final" goodbye. Visiting PA after she left this earth never felt the same because it just felt like she should be there since I never felt at peace with her passing. I sure hope that isn't the way I feel with my Poppy's passing. But I have a feeling since now I am all the way out in Utah that I will regrettably have the same feelings that I had years ago looking back and wishing that I would have made the trip to give him my final goodbye. Although I just keep reminding myself that we never really say goodbye, it is always "see you later" as we will always see each other again in heaven.

All of these memories make me remember my other grandfather (Pop Pop) that passed away several years ago when I was younger, my mother's father. He was such a sweet grandfather whom I wished I got to spend more time with as well. I never met his wife which would have been my grandmother as she had passed before I was born but I'm pretty sure she would have been the best Nana around. She was such a beautiful lady. Her pictures probably don't do her justice. She was beautiful. As I have gotten older, I have realized that life is just too short so we are making it a point to live in the moment and enjoy everyday as it arrives.

I love you Grammy, Poppy, Pop Pop & Nana! You both are finally together again watching over all of us everyday. :)

One last tribute song for My Poppy. Those of you that know him will smile at this. :)

Here's another song for you Poppy, since you always had a knack for your watch...